its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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