So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
