no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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