Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
