Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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