Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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