we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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