They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
