At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
