2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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