we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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