He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.