She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize