I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
