Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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