That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
