Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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