so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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