who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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