Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
bring money and cleavage
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
