I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
