i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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