Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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