yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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