It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
