Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
