i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
