I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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