My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
