Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
