We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
