Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
