All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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