i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
