Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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