Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
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Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
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The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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