Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
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the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
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Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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