So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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