Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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