I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
