Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
