last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
