Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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