Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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