She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize