And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
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I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
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Can you bring me the toilet please
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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