google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
