Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
