We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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