Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
