how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
