Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
this boner is exhausting
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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