I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
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Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
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I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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