YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
