They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
