id be glad to
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
