Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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