So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
