I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.