is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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