addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
