Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
