i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
