Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
