You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think a kid would responsible me up
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
